I think it will feel vastly different when we get into our house and it's just the three of us, puppy included, running around. I'll start cooking and fall into the housewife role when I have a space of my own but I'm not sure what will change for Stefan? No doubt owning a home will make a lot of things different in our newly established marriage.. but I guess it just feels right so it doesn't seem like some new secret world has been opened up to us.
This past weekend, we went to the local Labor Day festival in our town. We ate some festival food on a bench and when we stood to get up and walk around.. I realized I'd see a lot of people I knew and quickly asked Stef to check my teeth. He asked about his as well. It then struck me how different things really are. Thinking back to five years ago, just before we started dating, I would have never asked him to check my teeth!! Matter of fact.. upon finishing my taco I would have thought about not wanting to be talking or smiling at him with lettuce in my mouth.. not worrying about other people that I would see. But here I am five years later asking him without hesitation.
I brought this up as we were heading home and we giggled about how correct I was and the two of us tried so hard to think of a point in time where we made that change. It's literally impossible to establish when it happened but I know it did happen because I am comfortable with Stefan now. It's as though my brain realizes that he is on my side and that we are a team. It's never really been me versus Stefan, but it does feel like us versus the world sometimes and I feel extremely blessed to have him as my sidekick.
This doesn't mean I don't still check my breath before planting a kiss or that I quit trying extra hard to look nice for him when we go out on a date. The butterflies are still there, I still want to impress him, and I still get embarrassed from time to time.. but I have the best of both worlds. If I eat onions, have lettuce in my teeth, wear a stupid outfit or greasy hair, Stefan doesn't care whether I care or not. For the most part, the changes so far have been for the better. I know with certainty that He loves me for who I am.. and that is one thing I'm positive will never change.