The past few months have been emotional in so many ways and it hasn't been easy. It hasn't been all bad by any means but from the moment I found out I had to move positions to teach at a new school I have been struggling to stop myself from believing the lie that I'm just not good enough. Once that train has started it chugs its way into every aspect of your life if you let it, and I have.
I've been so wrapped up in how I feel that it has consumed me. Sometimes when I'm down, I wonder if any other person in this world is feeling what I'm feeling. In a state of gloominess, it unrealistically seems as though I must be the only one.
That's how I felt on Sunday when I opened twitter to tweet.
I was upset at the time, so I marched upstairs to take a nap. I don't get on twitter too often anymore, and while I'm not proud of the reason I did so on Sunday, I'm so glad that I did. After tweeting, I happened upon Mike Posner's tweet.
Screen shot! Because I obviously couldn't run down and tell Stefan the exciting news when I just huffed my way upstairs claiming to be grumpy.
The Taylors have been Mike Posner fans for years. Stef bought 31 Minutes to Takeoff just before we took a weekend trip to Louisville, Kentucky. That's a lot of car time mostly spent with none other than MP. We always talk about how great the entire album is, some of our favorites being the lesser known by fans who enjoy Mike because he's the "cooler than me" guy. Unfortunately, a lot of my favorites many people probably have never even heard.
So, sticking to my guns I waited until dinner to fill him in and we made plans to go to Edgewater in 24 hours. The closer our "date night" came the more "me" I felt. Excitement crept in that was too much to suppress for the sake of my cause. The car ride was therapeutic. As we parked, Mike ran through the parking lot in front of the car. According to his blog, he's done that before some of his Ninja Shows. That was cool. A small reminder that even though a lot of people of people know his name, he's still human just like me. Expect for the running. Running makes me want to die.
People crowded around his rented RV and waited for the show. As he finished his run and made his way back, Stefan extended his hand. He announced he was going to warm up and be out.
The whole thing after that was surreal. He was so raw and so real. He shared a poem, stories, and songs; some old, some new, and some never heard before. He even shared his friend, Adam Friedman with us who, by the way, you should look into because he's already creating amazing music. He has the voice of an angel. I'll be sitting here, patiently waiting for the day when he puts songs on itunes. Hopefully the two he sang for us last night!
I've only met two well known people in my life that I'm aware, Mike Posner and Kandee Johnson. I'm extremely satisfied with them being the two. They have some of the most gracious and beautiful souls. Its funny how famous people seem above our level because they are famous. It is crystal clear that these two see themselves as people too and I love and respect them even more for that.
Waiting in line was torture. I couldn't decide what I was going to say to him. This was my one chance and I didn't know how to use it!
We hugged a few times. We talked a bit about the time he tweeted Stefan. I told him one of my all time favorite songs is "speed of sound" and he thanked me for that.
We took a picture and shared our names. Stefan told him, "God Bless." He told us he loved us. And I believe it. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that Mike Posner would even know my name let alone tell Stefan and me that he loved us. But I believe Mike Posner does love his fans. Why else would he be traveling the country giving free acoustic shows to his fans? Why else would he spend hours after his shows meeting any fan who wants to be met? His love for all of his fans resonated through Edgewater Park last night. It was an awesome experience and I'm so thankful that he gave it to me. I don't think I'll go to another concert again. I'm afraid nothing could ever compare.
Afterwards, Stefan and I had a wonderful dinner at the Winking Lizard. We drove the hour home talking about how cool the whole thing was, singing Mike's new songs, and enjoying each other. It was such a happy evening and I'm so grateful for that.
If I could go back and do it again, I'd tell Mike thank you and ask him to sing a few lines of "speed of sound" for me. And bring him some organic lentils. He likes organic lentils. I wish we could've sat around and talked for hours. Now that it is over there is so much I'd like to ask. He'd be a really cool person to just talk with.
More than anything I wish I could really thank Mike. I woke up today so high on being alive and feeling so grateful for a job, a roof over my head, and a wonderful man with whom I can share this life, both the good and the not so good. I'm grateful that God works in mysterious ways and that in the midst of my humanness, he allowed me an amazing opportunity for joy.